Matches
by thecolfox
Summary: Angsty oneshot inspired by/based heavily on Hans Christian Anderson's story 'The Little Match Girl.' Rin finds herself all alone on a cold, snowy night with no money, no shoes and only a package of matches and thoughts of happier times to keep her warm. Possible expansion if enough people are interested/request it. *features character death* Sess/Rin. Please R/R! Enjoy!


Evening descended on the last day of the year. A young girl, bareheaded and barefoot, walked through the narrow streets of the had begun to fall and it was almost dark now. The lights in the village shops went out one by one, and the streets became emptier and emptier as Rin made her way through the streets, alone.

She had had a pair of snow boots originally. They had once been Lady Kaede's when she was a girl, but still they had been too big for Rin, and she had been desperate for food. One of the shop keepers had taken pity on the skinny girl and given her good price for them, but preserves in the winter were expensive. The fish reserves had frozen over, and there wasn't a mushroom or berry to be found underneath the thick frost.

And so she walked on her naked feet, as she always had, ignoring how blue they had become since the snow had begun to fall. Her feet had become quite accustomed to rough terrain during her years of traveling with the silver and white demon, but still her human body had its limits.

In the sleeves of her kimono she carried several boxes of something Jaken had called "matches." They were supposed to allow her to make fires more easily, but without a hut or money, she had no access to dry wood or kindling. The snow had dampened all the branches of the trees and bushes in the forest, and though she had searched, she couldn't find any to steal.

Rin shivered as the last light of day disappeared beyond the horizon, damp and hungry. A few huts still glowed with the light of the fires burning inside, and the faint smell of stew wafted past her temptingly. How she wished she was back with Kaede and the others, having stew by the fire on a cold night like this! Or better still, huddled up with Lord Sesshomaru and A-Un somewhere warm and away from the icy ground that bit so cruelly at her feet.

As she walked a sudden loneliness crept over Rin, gripping her. Kaede had passed only a few months ago. Rin was no stranger to death, but still she had not expected to be so affected by the old miko's. Sesshomaru had come to check on her in the wake of it, and with him brought news that she would be returning with him… but not that day. He still had matters to see to, and he had not expected there to be a need to retrieve his ward so soon. Rin had only been in the village for four years.

With the knowledge that she would be leaving with Lord Sesshomaru soon, Rin had been able to navigate the miko's loss well enough. She had gone to stay with Kagome and Inuyasha until her lord returned for her, and for a while all had been well. Kagome and Inuyasha were kind, and familiar. But just as quickly as Kaede left her, so did the rest of her patchwork family. Perhaps… she was simply not meant to have a family. First her real family, then her lord, Jaken and Ah-Un, Kaede… they had all slowly slipped away from her.

But a great threat from the East had arisen, they had said, a great demon. Kagome and Inuyasha, Sango and Miroku had all gone. The monk's children were entrusted to another villager while they were away, but that had left Rin all on her own. Of course, she had assured them she would be fine! After all, she had lived alone for quite awhile before she had stumbled upon Lord Sesshomaru in the forest, and he had said he was coming back to get her soon! But it had never been decided exactly when Lord Sesshomaru would return…

It was possible one of the other villagers might have taken her in, but only begrudgingly. Ultimately, she was an outsider here, just as she had been in her old village, and Rin hated the idea of being a burden upon anyone else. Without Kagome and Kaede there, she receded into her shell of silence and the villagers slowly distanced themselves. They were polite, of course, but there was no one left to think of her on a cold night like this.

Despite the growing distance between the other villagers and herself, when the roof of the storehouse had collapsed a few weeks prior, Rin had of course suggested Kaede's hut as a place to store the preserves and rations for the winter. It was the only option, but also the right one, she knew. She couldn't be selfish and risk the lives of everyone else. But storing all of the preserves and rations meant she couldn't light a fire in the hut either. There was just barely enough room for her to sleep, pressed against the wall on her little mat with a few of the pretty kimonos her lord had brought for her to sleep under. It wasn't much, but she didn't need much.

Lord Sesshomaru would come for her soon.

The last of the lights disappeared from the huts and she was nearly home when she stabbing of the icy ground under her feet became too much to bear. She found a little corner created by two walls near the shrine and climbed onto a bench after dusting the snow from it. The walls created a shield from the wind and Rin gratefully sat and pulled her feet up under her, shaking the snow from her dark hair and eyelashes.

It was so terribly cold and she was beginning to feel very tired… but she was still only halfway back to Kaede's dark hut. It would be cold there too… no stew, no fire, nothing there to warm her except for her kimonos. She had thought, only briefly, about selling one. It would easily allow her to get through the winter until Lord Sesshomaru came back… but they were his gifts to her, and the only thing she had of him until she returned. The only thing she had at all, really. In the end, she couldn't bear the thought of parting with even one.

Rin blew on her hands to try and warm them, noticing how blue her fingertips had become. Perhaps if she lit a few of the matches she could at least warm her hands and feet up enough to make her way home.

She slowly drew the package of matches from her sleeve, striking it. The golden light flared and Rin savored the short burst of warmth that spread over her nose and cheeks. Carefully, she drew out a handful of the matches and slowly set them into a small groove in the wooden bench so they stood upright. When she'd made a small bouquet of matches, she struck another and used it to the light the bundle.

Ah! It was like a mini fire! She scrambled quickly and put her feet and hands close to the flames, trying to warm them up. She could hardly feel her toes now, but if she could just get home she could warm herself under her silk kimonos, enough to get through the night.

But just as her toes had begun to feel again, the matches went out, leaving nothing but the acrid smell of smoke lingering behind. Rin set up another bundle, shivering as the snow collected on her hair and shoulders once more. She lit the second bundle and huddled as close to it as she could manage, trying to shield it from the snow.

The flames sprung up again, creating a hazy glow in the darkness before her to her. It was so warm… such a wonderful feeling! She resolved that she would never take the sun and the spring for granted again. She would lay in the sun as many hours as she could and walk on the warm rocks in the mountains so her feet could forget all about this storm. Rin's lidded eyes stared into the light from the flame, imagining the spring when she wouldn't be cold, or alone. Through the glow she could see shapes… Kagome and Inuyasha! They were bickering about something with big bowls of stew in their hands. Oh! She could almost smell it, too, if she tried hard enough… but the then flame flickered out once more.

Another bouquet of matches was placed in the bench, and once more the flames cast a glowing veil into the inky blackness. This time, it Kaede Rin saw through the haze, sitting by the fire. She could smell the dried flowers Kaede was binding up and a small smile spread across her pale lips. Drying and binding flowers and herbs had always been her favorite part of miko work. When Lord Sesshomaru had first left her behind in the village, it had been the first thing to draw her out of her melancholy.

"I want to bind and dry flowers again with you, Kaede-san…" she whispered, the hitch in her small voice muffled by the wind and the crackling of the matches.

She shook her head to clear the dust of snow making her hair damp, looking up at the sky. Through a small patch in the clouds she saw a streak of light and felt her breath catch in her throat. A star had fallen!

"Someone must be dying, Kaede-san…" she looked back down, her blue fingers creating another bouquet. Kaede had once told her that people believed when a star went across the sky, it was a soul finding its way to the afterlife. Rin thought it was rather nice that people became stars when they died. If she became a star, she could be with Lord Sesshomaru forever in the sky.

She was feeling sleepy now, but she knew she had to get home before she could sleep. She struck a match, lighting the bundle again. Her eyes blinked sleepily for a few moments before she noticed something shift in the glow of the flames. Slowly her head lifted up, "Sesshomaru-sama…?" she called, her breath swirling out in front of her, casting a silvery shadow.

There In the dim light of the fire was… Could it be…? It was Lord Sesshomaru!

"My lord!" she cried weakly, "You've returned..!" a smile crept across her now blue lips and she reached out toward the figure. "Please take me with you, my lord!" But the light began to dim, and Rin was suddenly afraid that he would vanish like Kaede and the others once the matches had burned out.

Her frozen fingers fumbled with the package, but she managed to grasp the remained of the matches in her hand and struck them all at once, the glow from the matches washing over her. She stretched her arms out to the hazy white figure, "My lord… please let me come with you! I want to be with Lord Sesshomaru forever…!" A small puff of silver followed her plea before dissipating into the air. The flames gave way to darkness, and Rin felt something warm envelop her. She was going to go with Lord Sesshomaru now.

* * *

><p>Only a few hours later, the new day's sun rose upon the village. The demon's face was a perfect porcelain mask as he approached… but he knew what awaited him. He had smelled it long before he'd ever seen the village. He hoped, though, for once in his life that he was wrong. This time… he wanted to be wrong. Sesshomaru touched down lightly in the snow, hardly leaving any mark in the fresh powder. He wasted no time, following the faint scent of the girl to the shrine at the edge of the village.<p>

There, in a corner near the shrine sat a little figure huddled on a bench, stiff and cold. Her long lashes were covered in frost; a fine layer of snow covered her like a blanket save for one small hand, gripping a bundle of burnt matches.

Sesshomaru felt his stomach clench violently, tasting something bitter at the back of his throat. His hands flexed and then clenched. He wanted to draw Tenseiga, to rip her back from the underworld as he had before… but he knew it was useless. When he reached her, he kneeled down on one knee, reaching out and brushing her hair from her cold face, a flurry of snow falling from her head…

_She was smiling. _Her thin, blue… _dead_ lips… were smiling at him! Was this some sort of sick joke fate was playing on him?

"Rin." The voice that left him sounded strange, even to him. _Why?_ Where was his useless little brother?! Where was the miko woman he had left in charge of her, in charge of her safety! Why now, when he had finally come to take her away? He could tell she had not been gone for all that long… but he was still ages too late. This had been her last chance… he'd known it, been haunted by it, obsessed over it… and he had failed her. How long had he agonized over becoming like his father, only to come to terms with it after all these years. But in the end it seemed they were different after all. He had failed in protecting the one thing in the world he'd grown to care for, something even his weak, hearted father had managed. What a weak demon he was! None of his power, none of his conquests could aid him in preserving the life of one simple human girl.

_Pathetic!_ He was not worthy of the faith she'd placed in him.

Eventually, the demon reached out and carefully drew her stiff body into his arms, enveloping her in the sleeves of his kimono. He brushed a clawed thumb over the side of her face, letting it trace her frozen lips.

"This Sesshomaru is sorry he took so long..."

After a time he stood, holding her close before turning and disappearing into the forest with her, bundled tightly in his arms. He paused at the edge, looking up at the grey sky, "You are with me now, Rin."


End file.
